Birds are singing!

• I first noticed it yesterday, as I was walking to class. It is still pretty cold, and the Kansas wind doesn't help anything but the sun is shining and the birds are singing! These two things combined with the fact that Spring break is only two weeks away makes everything thing okay!
• I need my hair to grow out, its in the awkward stage and I hate it!
• My brother turns 14 tomorrow.... And he's probably taller than me now too.
• I really miss texting Cam.
• This is turning into a random thoughts blog :)
• I really didn't mean for it too.
• I have been consistently working out for two months now, it feels great!
• KSU freshman football players are immature.
• I am most productive on the days I have too much to do.
• I really really really want to go home.
• I wish I were more organized. I function better when I'm organized.
• I am more excited about having my own home than having my own career.

Productivity

I had a big week, three tests, a project to work on in Studio, a history project to work out, work, exercising, and just life in general. I was pretty stressed, but I didn't realize this until Thursday after my test when I felt intense RELIEF! I had made it!! And now I'm feeling incredibly productive, it is a good feeling! I cleaned my room, my computer, my e-mail, my body :), I'm getting ready to go to studio then I'll go to sleep, wake up in the morning work on some papers and than Cam gets here!!!! :) Its gonna be a good weekend.

Heros

Two days ago if you would've asked who my hero is I would've said Jesus, and my dad. They are the only two men in my life who had actively and extensively put their well-being on the line to keep me safe. That all has changed.

Well... not really, Jesus is still number one and I can't say that my dad has moved to number 3, he's more like number 2.b. now :) but there is a new man on the list. I've loved him for almost 2 years, I have trusted him completely, been best friends with him, laughed and cried with him, and dated him. But Yesterday my WHOLE life, and my entire well being was in his hands, and he kept me safe. Nothing in our relationship has changed except that he actively protected me, I have no idea how many things he has protected me from simply by being by his side, I was so trusting of people... too trusting? I don't know if there is such a thing. But I was so naive about the sin of this race called human. Its disgusting really.

Valentines Day

I love this day because it is

• An excuse to spend time with just that special person
• A day to express your love to those around you
• A day to eat candy... without any guilt
• A day of flowers

I hate this day because

• There is so much pressure to get something
• Valentines are cheesy
• Its really hard to think of something to buy
• I would much rather just spend time with him than get something just because its Valentines day
• I can't keep secrets to save my life :) well thats not entirely true but I always seem to give away my best gift ideas just a little bit too soon...
  

Confession.

I'm not perfect. AH shocker I know haha. But no, I fail. Daily.

It gets really old really fast. I am thankful for forgivness and understanding of my parents, my siblings, my friends, and most all my God.

But I wonder sometimes... why do I continue to do these failings? Now, somethings I am able to tackle for a while anyways (1 month and counting, MH) while other things I can't. Or I just don't want to. Maybe a little bit of both.

I know I can't do anything without Christ and the Holy Spirit. But what about the "grey" areas? Things that SEEM wrong, but don't FEEL wrong. Things that I want to do but would never tell anyone about.

What about lying? Something we all do, but shouldn't. Something I am working on.

Or laziness (case in point, writing this when I should be putting dinner away)

Or the bigger things too. Sometimes I wonder how I can be a follower of Christ and still struggle with such pervasive sins. I confess them to God, and ask forgiveness, and sometimes resist. But there are just so many times that I have failed.

Lord, forgive me.

Update again

CAM IS COMING HERE TOMORROW!

Yeah, I'm a little bit excited :) Gonna watch some football... hang out with the cousins... just be together... its gonna be grand!

I like this layout more, seems mature? maybe I don't know. Mostly I just like the picture!

Man I'm a lucky chick

And here's why:

• I'm loved my the creator of the universe
• The best parents in the world gave birth to me
• I am friends with my siblings and I love them all very much
• I have a best friend named Cameron who I can and do tell everything too, oh and I happen to be dating him too :)... 1 year and 9 months and 2 days
• I have amazing friends, Melinda, Hannah, Stacy, Krista, and many others
  
• I'm a Wildcat!
• My professors are great, although I can't stand a few the majority stand out as great teachers and I know that each one in their own way will shape my education to be the best it can be
• I have a pretty good brain, although I don't always use it
• This blog has bullet points which make my lame excuse for an update seem that much cooler
• I can read! Did you know that less than half of all the females in the world can read?
• I own a Bible, my very own love letter for Jesus
• I am a middle class daughter for parents who are still married and crazy in love born in America going to college with my own car and a job. Basically I'm in the 1% of the population on this planet
• I can *almost* do a full pull-up, I'm 20lbs closer :) Thats a lot right?
• I don't struggle with my weight
• I'm don't really have self image issues, although I don't see myself the way Cam does

What a responsibility I have...

P.S. Melinda. I updated :) YOUR TURN!